Trying to be...
2003-10-24 - 8:12 a.m.
so i finally decide its time to get back on the friday five bandwagon and there is none this week? grrr.
I am in major secrecy mode, and its driving me crazy. I'm not very good at keeping secrets.
Wait, let me ammend that.
I am a mental health worker. I am an absolute stickler for confidentiality. I strive every single minute of my professional life to respect my client's confidentiality, and am proud to say that I am successful doing so. Those "secrets" are kept without "driving me crazy".
I am a good friend/family member. I often am the one others confide in. I pride myself in making myself available to my friends/family for this purpose - shoulder to cry on, giving advice, helping troubleshoot solutions etc. Again, in this regard, I am the Queen of Secrets, and I value the trust put in me and am very successful in not violating that trust by spilling the beans to others.
I am a bad secret-keeper when it comes to MY OWN secrets. I cannot plan a surprise party or a 'weekend getaway' or anythign fabulous for my husband, because my giddiness gets in the way and I want him to share in the excitement. I don't have a great poker face when I'm faced with my own troubles, new developments, exciting events, etc. I am a brutally honest person, and when people ask me direct questions (even the obnoxious ones) I tend to answer them in detail --- when I lost my weight, and people noticed, I rarely got by with a simple "thank you", instead I did the whole "thanks, I've been doing weight watchers, and its really helped me get my eating habits under control..." or "thanks, I've been exercising regularly, and its really helped me feel better..." or whatever.
So yeah, I'm not very good at keeping my own secrets, and instead find that I avoid the phone, avoid descriptive detailed emails, and avoid face-to-face contact until I can truly spill the beans.
Tomorrow it will get better....but today may be tricky.
