Trying to be...
2003-10-22 - 1:58 p.m.
I've been doing a lot of reading, and realizing that I'm amazed (and frustrated) that no-one suspected I had PCOS before this. So many tell-tale signs....grrr.
I filled the prescription for Clomid yesterday. Isn't it funny that Viagra is covered by insurance, yet fertility drugs are not? I have a fairly comprehensive prescription plan, and nope! not covered. Granted, $55 a month for 6 months is not going to break us, but on the principle I find this frustrating. But really, with how badly I want this, I'd be willing to shell out whatever it would take to get there (by the way, this is for the generic brand, and its only 5 days worth of pills....the name brand would be $130 for the same amount).
I still haven't gotten my period in the meantime. Every month I'm like clockwork, and this time I'm late 2 days. And not even a glimmer of PMS symptoms. Strange, isn't it? The one time I'm hoping to get it, its late!
I admit I've already taken a pregnancy test. Upon first reading it was negative. About a half an hour later I looked at it and there was a very very faint (but distinctly there) second line. I called D at work, and calmly went bananas. I realize that a)readings are not dependable if taken after 20 minutes and b)it was really really faint.....
I refuse to get my hopes up, and each time I go to the bathroom I expect fully to see those tell-tale signs of my period. I refuse to take another pregnancy test until Saturday, when D and I can do it together.
I wish I had been taking temps this month. I'd have a better sense of what is brewing in there. But I can't rewind the clock, and I had taken a hiatus from that. I did do the ovulation predictor, and we "did it" the morning that I had gotten a positive indicator that I was ovulating (though we've been there/done that for months already). I've been taking my temps for the past two mornings, and will continue to do so until I bleed or Saturday when I pee-stick again.
I can't help but think of the irony involved if I do am pregnant. What are the chances that the very month I am tested and positively diagnosed as having PCOS.....and lets not mention the fact that I had one hell of a wild night with the girls (drinkin' and druggin' included). I mean, I never ever ever do drugs anymore. Ok, maybe twice a year I smoke pot, but c'mon. That counts as never ever ever, doesn't it?
so that's where my brain is at.
I fully expect to go to the ladies room and come back and ammend this post shortly.
