Trying to be...
2003-09-17 - 10:28 p.m.
I've become a bit of a nervous nelly. I'm not sure when it happened...
if its a product of getting older,
if its something that happens when you are madly in love with someone whom you would be lost without,
if its a natural occurance having lived through 9/11,
or if its been that both last summer and this, I watched a man die (last summer my client who had a heart attack, and I was the one who found him, this summer my grandfather) and then was the first person there to console the bereaving wife (last summer, my client's wife, who I stayed with by her side for hours, until her family members arrived....this summer, my grandmother - I arrived at her door minutes after we called her from the hospital having watch him take his last breath, and stayed with her, alone, for hours until the rest of the family came and joined us).
Or maybe its a combination of all of the above, but I am currently a nervous nelly.
D left for work at the regular time this morning (8:30). As is the usual these days, we were both swamped at work and didn't have a chance to call or email the other all day long. He was going out for a "quick drink" after work, I was having dinner with a girlfriend. He thought he'd be home by 9 at the latest.
So I left him a voicemail message at 8. I now just left him another at 10:30. I know in my heart, he is fine and just out having a drink, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that its freaky to go 14+ hours without hearing a peep from him....
and I'm sleepy.
But I can't go to bed unless I hear from him. Even a drunken "hey honey, I'm getting a cab and will be home soon" will be enough to let me fall to slumber. But for now, I will fret in solitude.
Yeah, I can be pretty ridiculous sometimes.
