Trying to be...
2003-08-28 - 4:32 p.m.
trying to be....
today, I am trying to be a lady of my word (please see yesterday's post)
I made an appointment to see an OB/GYN. It's been 13 months since my last gyno appt, and I hated the clinic I used to go to (liked the doctor ok, but continually had problems w/the billing department). So I found someone new. Someone affiliated with the hospital I used to work at, who have an amazing maternity ward, and an even more amazing NICU. Someone who takes my insurance.
Other than that, I don't know anything about her. Those were the only terms I picked her on (my word of mouth referrals didn't take my insurance).
Her receptionist was an absolute gem. There was nothing haughty about her, she was sweet, appropriately giggly (not nervous giggly), and flexible. She didn't rush me off the phone.
We scheduled the appointment. Then as soon as I got off the phone I went to the calendar and counted, and wouldn't you know, it was scheduled for exactly 26 days from now. Given my "on the nose" precision lately, 26 days from now I will be experiencing gut-wrenching pain having just suffered through a night of cramp induced insomnia. So I called her back and explained, and she continued to be sweet saying "murphy's law, right? No problem, how is the same time the following week". There was not a solitary sigh in our entire discourse.
Is it sad that I find basic customer service so incredibly outstanding?
So its set for 33 days from today. A full base-line appointment, pap, etc. At that point I will
a) be three weeks past my 34th birthday
b) have completed 11 months of trying to get pregnant
c) will either be 3 weeks pregnant, or one month away from being officially categorized as "Infertile" (infertile being a label applied to any couple who have been trying to concieve for 1 year without success)
I'm nervous.
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Last night, before waking up in cramp induced hell I had horrible dreams. The kind that are so incredibly real, you wake up and have to check to see if it was a dream or if it was real.
In my dream, suddenly I felt something in my mouth. My tongue was running across it, and it was sharp and jagged. I spit it out into my hand, and it was a shard of tooth.
I realized there was more, and I kept spitting it out,and suddenly my hand was full -- full like reaching into a jumbo tub of popcorn at the movie theater full - of teeth. I looked in the mirror (in my dream) and all of my molars were gone. My teeth had all been spit out,except for my front teeth.
When I woke, I kept running my tongue over my (still there) teeth, amazed that they were still in my mouth. I then had period-insomnia, the kind where you count the seconds until the several alleve kick in and you can fall back asleep. The kind where you keep running to the bathroom, unsure of whether you need to sit or kneel. The kind that makes you wish menapause would come sooner.
This morning, after my shower, I took out my 1,000 Dreams Interpretted book. Under "spitting out teeth" it said "premonition of impending serious illness for self or possibly close family member"
Given what else is going on in my body these days, this scares the fuck out of me.
But since I am also a very literal person, I made a dentist appointment today. I go two days after the cooch-doctor.
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Edited to add:
Check out this from a dream interpretation website. Frightening, no?
Interpretation
Dreams about teeth falling out are quite common and can mean one of two things. The first is to do with having children. (Animals carry their young around with their teeth). This type of dream can be triggered by a number of things.
Approaching menopause and therefore losing the ability to have children
A physical problem leading to an inability to have children
Not feeling capable of raising a child
Your children are ready to 'leave the nest'
Wanting a child but your partner doesn't
The other thing it can indicate is that you are in a situation where you cannot assert yourself. For example, if you work for somebody who is overbearing and your right to be assertive is not catered for.
I find this fascinating. Obviously, the last two don't apply. And (at least conciously) the middle one doesn't apply....but the matching of those first two is a bit frightening. Fer shure.
