Trying to be...
2003-07-16 - 8:09 a.m.
Making coffee for two is so much better than making it for only one. Somehow I just can't get the ratio right when its just me...either I end up with half a cup, or with two cups, but never just one full mug full. But today D is back, and I got to make coffee for two, and as usual, it perfectly filled two of our coffee mugs with no leftover brew.
Sometimes the small things make me happy.
He came home a bit early,and we got to have dinner together. That was a treat! Especially since he's home for today, and then tomorrow morning he's off for the next road trip. Only two more weeks of this traveling hobo routine, then I take a week's vacation and leave him alone in the apartment (sorry, sweetie!), and then our life resumes somewhat normalacy.
Does diaryland do spell check? 'Cause I am a bright, learned person, but sometimes my fingers move too quickly and I am guilty of not proofreading. Suffice to say if I make typos, its not because I'm not smart.
Yesterday I went to both my general practitioner and gynocologist's offices and requested my medical records. Do you know they charge $.75 per page for this "service". I did the whole "but I moved, I have to find a new doctor" routine, but I don't think they cared.
But given how awful that GP treated me last summer, I'll be happy to be out of that whole office system. Plus, every time I saw anyone there, anyone affiliated with that whole hospital, they screwed up the billing. Like clockwork 3 months after a visit the bill collectors would be after me. And after a quick call to the insurance company, who would always say "oh, THEM again", it would be fixed. So good ridence.
I'm reading this book called "It's my Ovaries, Stupid", which aside from the ridiculous title, which trivializes what is inside, is fascinating. E gave it to me, courtesy of her short stint working at a publishing company (oh how I am going to miss the perks of that job!). Its all about hormone imbalances, and how often they go untreated in women, especially young women. It talks about how quick doctors are to give the catch all "oh, you must be depressed, here's some Prozac" regardless of the very real medical symptoms going on. This is what that bitch GP did to me last summer. These are the symtpoms I've been encountering for over a year:
- tingly fingers/toes
- freezing 90% of the time
- shortened menstrual cycles
- increased PMS symptoms and more painful periods
- heightened sense of smell, to the point of nausea
- low grade nausea most of the time
- irritable bowel
- increased amount of facial hair
- loss of "sharpness" in thinking, difficulty concentrating
- and my all time favorite, majorly decreased libido and a MUCH harder time climaxing. Um, I love sex. I love my husband. I used to have zero problem getting my rocks off....but it is so much work now! Pretty fun when one is trying to conceive, no?
My mom said that she thinks its hormones too. Oh, she's a former nurse who teaches anatomy and physiology, so its not like she's just guessing here. She wanted me tested as a teenager, when I displayed symptoms of PCOS, but rather than that, the doctors just put me on the pill to regulate me.
Anyway, this book I'm reading talks about how OB/GYN's focus on the mechanics (cervix, uterus, vagina, etc) and endocrinologists focus on hormones (thyroid, hypothalmeous, pituitary, and pancreas) but other than those who specialize in reproductive endocrinology, people ignore the OVARIAN hormones and how when they are out of whack, so is the entire person. Most doctors, when they do hormone testing, do the basic hormone TSH tests, but don't go further into a whole ovarian hormone work up (estrogen, estrodial, progesterone, testosterone, etc) throughout a cycle to see how the balance shifts throughout the month. Oh, and most insurance companies don't cover it either. Hooray.
So now my hunt is on for a good reproductive endocrinoligist. Anyone know one in the NYC area?
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All of my life, I have been the type of person who knows everyone. You know, I'll be standing in line in an airport and suddenly bamn! there is my best friend from 2nd grade. Walking down the sidewalk in a rush and wham! there is my former neighbor from childhood. I have a knack for remembering people, and have been fortunate that aside from one or two drastic cases, people have fallen gracefully from my life rather than some big drama-filled blow-out disagreement.
(aside: I can only think of three drama filled exits:
1. best platonic guy friend from high school, who after we went to college wrote me a drama filled letter about needing to find himself in his new environment, and that he can't be connected to his past anymore. therefore, he does not care to hear from me at my college and does not care to hear about my new "faceless friends". I've contacted him a few times over the years, and we've had the cordial, but awkward "so what are you up to" conversations, but have never resumed friendship.
2. a former girl-friend who is a drama queen in general "fired" me for being friends with her exboyfriend. Even though I had been friends with him for 4 years before they became a couple, and their break up was not disasterous. 7 years later, she got over it
3. The neighborhood boy who used to throw pennies on my lawn and scream things like "you dirty JEW!!" down the hallways of Junior High. To this day, if I saw him on the street I would walk by without responding to him. This needs no further explanation,right?)
Anyway, given this nature about myself...when I was a social work student, my supervisor said "Today I'm giving you your first intake. Look this over, and then call the family to make an appointment". I took one look at the paper and said "I can't do this. I know her".
Turns out it was a friend of mine from junior high youth group (randomly enough, she once dated friend number 1 above, but that is not related to the story). Someone I hadn't seen in years, other than once running in to her on the sidewalk during my lunch hour, but still I knew her. And I doubted she would want me to be the one doing an intensive family psycho-social evaluation about her child's potential disability.
Anyway...so yesterday I was researching fertility specialist (see, this story does have a point) and I found someone who is reknown, written impressive articles, and has a good philosophy about all of this.
And you know what? Turns out, its her husband.
Small world my friends....small world.
